mood: EMO

how does this happen to me?

my job? No.
my friends? No.
FRIENDS? No.

But i dont deny that season10 of friends is full of emo-ness and sobsob lines.
I admit i did tear up in a few of those parts.
Watch it from 1-10. It's really great.

When does this happen?

I am missing my family so much. More than ever. Time is really flying so fast. Soon i'll be a graduate and starting on my journey towards the working life. And you know, thats when things change forever. Things will be so different than what it was just last year. Full independence is great. Am looking forward towards it. Nothing beats getting your own pay and managing ur own finances, household, and all. When that starts, another thing ends. Almost always, the thing that ended is the one thing that u'll miss most. Some things pleasant, some things nasty. Eitherway, u'll miss both.

No more being woken up by my screaming mom, consistent nagging bout spending cash, my seemingly drive to buy only good stuff, travelling kl-ipoh, ipoh-kl for college. No more sneaking out with my 2 younger sis after their tuition, asking them to go to morning markets and night markets with me, researching on recipes and baking together (i instruct, they measure, i bake) :p

I seriously dont know when will be the next time I see my family again. Even if i did in the next few months, things will be so different. I am away from them for too long. too long.

the phone call yesterday was fun. my mom's usual habit is talk halfway to me and then talk (give instructions) to the rest of the people (Dungu1 & DunguBell2) in the room she's in. Just listening to the background sound of it, and swoosh. Warmth filled me.

Aftermath of phonecalls to home: Emo-ness.
Maybe thats why i never called home.
I just hate being Emo.
Tears are my enemy.

Going to get my ipod soon after my next pay. Load up on Jimmy Eat World and Coldplay. And drown in its emoness.

If I had known that things will start changing the moment i stepped out into the college world after high school, and even more so after i finish college and go into the uni world, i would have gone home much more often, not argue with my mom so much, take a breath once in a while, enjoy every moment as long as it lasts.

I dont know if i am ready for this. It is all just happening too fast.